Google Translates My Top 5 Reads from 2018

A couple of months ago my dear Wondertwin Sam @ Fictionally Sam did a hilarious post where she had Google translate the synopses of some of her favorite books. Much hilarity ensued and I needed to join in on the fun. In case you aren’t already following Sam’s blog, please do be sure to check her out because her posts are creative and comedic gold. Let her enrich your life!

From Sam’s post:
What would come out of Google if I had it translate some of my favorite book’s synopsis‘? Thus this post was born.

I have way too many favorites to count, so I decided to go with my Top Five Books of 2018 (plus This Mortal Coil even though it was published in 2017).  I translated each book’s title & Goodreads synopsis from English to Scottish Gaelic and then back into English, and this was the result. As an aside, Reader Voracious translated back into English is reading books, which is not nearly as funny as some of the results below.

Grab your tea and a tissue because… too much laughter causes tears. Click on the titles to be taken to the Goodreads page to see the actual titles and synopses. 

Ace of Shades by Amanda Foody♣️ With a Screen

Welcome to Baile Sin, where casino families rule, groups block the streets … and secretly hides in each shadow.

Enne Salta was built as a real young woman, and no one would be happy to visit New Reynes, that town called Ballinna. But when her mother is missing, Enne must leave her finished school – and her backbone to follow her mother’s path to the village where no one is still banned.

Fear and only, her only lead is a name: Levi Glaisyer. Unfortunately, Levis did not expect the nobleman she was expecting – he is the lord of the street and is a man. Levi is only one pay away from cleaning a quick investment scam, so he has no time to investigate a woman who follows a dangerous double life. However, Enne’s offer could be a solution to his problems.

The search for advertisements will be brought through glamorous, illegal cabarets and into an unfinished brown mafia. As Enne puts out secret secrets about the past, Lebhi’s enemies capture them, being taken into a religious game where the players are always losing. To save it, Enne must surrender to the town …

And she needs to play.

Contagion by Erin Bowman💉 Harrassment

He got in us

After SOS has been forced to work in detail on a long planet, a squad crew will be issued to achieve a common mission and rescue.

Most are dead.

But when the crew arrives, they find a abandoned site, broken down with bare food, weapons that were erased … and dead bodies.

Do not drop down here again.

As they try to make each other out what could be done away, they find that some of the best things are buried – and some of the aliens are too ready for wake up.

The Siren and the Specter by Jonathan Janz cover👻  The Siren and the Spectrum

When David Caine, a supernatural supernatural suspicion, invites an old friend to spend a month in “the worst home in Virginia”, he believes that the case is similar to anyone else. But Alexander House is different. Constructed by a 1700an baronet to maintain the ancestral breed and tolerance of his eldest son, the house is split by past embryos and a great deal of blood. David is sad forever. For twenty years ago, he turned away his sweetheart, and gave her life sad. And David believes that she goes to Taigh Alexander.

32768520🌑 Mirage

In a star system led by brutal emperor Vathek, Amani is a fourteen brother brother. She dreams about life that was like life; She dreams about writing poetry as the old poems she praises; She dreams he gets a signal from Dihya that she also has one day, and she travels beyond her remote moon.

But when Amani comes revenge, not what she expects: she is stolen by the government and is taken secretly to the royal palace, where she finds herself close to the same What’s about Princess Maram Half-Vathek. The princess is so dear to all the people who have left a double body, someone appears publicly as a Maram, ready to die instead.

As Amani has been introduced to her new post, she can not help but take the beauty of the palace – and her time with fiancé, Idris’s wife. But the reputation of the royal court believes a world of violence and fright. If Amani has never seen her family again, she must play the princess to perfection … because one wrong move could be executed.

Pitch Dark by Courtney Alameda💀 Brown Brown

Lost to time, Tuck Morgan and his team have to sleep on board the USS John Muir for centuries. Their vessel is a harbor of a landless, unfamiliar earth, the last hope for the failing human beings.

Laura Cruz is a shipwreck studying the galaxy for the history that was scattered to the stars. Once her family finds the John Muir and the shovel are valuable, they are sure that human civilization is saved.

When Tuck and Laura are playing literally – the two teenagers need to get rid of the enemy, abduct brutal brutal brutal murderers and work together to save John Muir. South West and all human race.



This Mortal Coil by Emily Suvada🧬 This Mortal Coil

Catarina Agatta is an inventor. It can make major pieces and an accident through fireworks, but not exactly what it does. In the Cat world, people have been applied to technology to replicate their DNA, allowing them to change their bodies in any way they want. And Cat is happening to be a generational generation.

There is no surprise, since Cat’s father is Dr Lachlan Agatta, a well-known genetic expert who could be the last hope of destroying a plague that led to humanity to die. But during the war, Lachlan was stolen by a scary group called Cartaxus, leaving Cat for his last two years to live.

When Cartaxus’s soldier, Cole, enters the news that her father is killed, Cat’s uncertainty tells her that there is just another Cartaxus. But Cole also gives a message: before Lachlan died, he continued to create a vaccine, and Cole needs to help Cat release and save his human race.

Now Cat needs to decide who can trust: The soldier secretly about himself? The father who made her promise to hide from Cartaxus at all costs? In a world where its own nature can be transcribed, what can she even trust?

Alright friends, that was my Top 5 2018 Reads translated badly by Google… what do you think?

I am honestly still wheezing from the Ace of Shades one, that one and Contagion’s are my favorites. Which one did you like the best?


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Hi! I’m Kaleena: book lover, runner, wanderer, and philanthropist. Life is an adventurous gift: through the outdoors and books. I run Reader Voracious Blog, where I post spoiler-free book reviews of science fiction, fantasy, speculative fiction, and mystery & thriller.

69 thoughts on “Google Translates My Top 5 Reads from 2018

  1. Haha 😁 Makes me think of trying to write a French essay back in high school with “help” from Google Translate. I still remember needing the verb “hide” and getting the noun translation: hide as in “skin”. My teacher was so confused.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I am wheezing! WOWOWOWOWOWOWOW ACE OF SHADES HAS ME HOWLING! This is literally a time and a half and I’m so unbelievably flattered that you took inspiration from my post! ❤ ❤ ❤ This was gold.

    Contagion honestly sounds like a synopsis for a sexual harrasment charge. "Harrassment
    He got in us" A TIME. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Your post was such gold and I couldn’t NOT give it a try myself, this was so much fun and I think I might do this yearly with my top reads. Because lololol. Poor Ace of Shades.

      I AM WHEEZING at your comment about Contagion. You’re so right! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. OH YES. COMEDIC GOLD. She is also comedic gold.

    OMG Harrassment. LOLOLOLOL. I’ve got to say Contagion is my favorite just for the title itself. I love how Google Translates just butchers these synopses and titles. I’m surprised a little that Mirage survived in the translation of the title, though!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Harassment is by fair the weirdest title, I think! Sam said that it sounds like a sexual harassment charge: “Harassment He got in us” and I am dying from laughter. Google Translate is nice and all… but still not the best.

      Mirage survived and I also found that weird.


  4. Minus that Ace of Shades had an unintentional moment of poor translation racism (the brown mafia…), that translation was hilarious. What a fun idea. I love the tool of google translate, but man, it causes some issues too! What a fun post!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. HANDS DOWN. THE ACE OF SHADES TRANSLATION WAS THE BEST. I died at “he is the lord of the street and is a man”. I wonder what Levi would say to THAT. I also wouldn’t call the shadow game “religious”. Enne can attest to that 💀

    Great post as always, kal!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Feel like I’d find this funnier if I’d actually read one of the books from this list oooopsies. Gotta say though, you reminded me I wanted to read Ace of Shades. Oh and just reading the gibberish that’s produced is amusing enough 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  7. “Laura Cruz is a shipwreck studying the galaxy for the history that was scattered to the stars” >> this is my job I think? I already have the “shipwreck” part down 😂 and also “He got in us” coupled with the translated “Harassment” – yikes 😶 Google Translate is so wonderfully awful at grammar, and I love being reminded of this fact every time I get remotely close to worrying about an eventual hostile AI takeover. (and maybe I should lay off the apocalyptic sci-fi for a bit 😅)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I definitely am also a shipwreck. Sam’s comment about “it got in us” plus Harassment sounded like a sexual harassment complaint, and I about died laughing. I can only imagine the amusing lost in translation bits when the robots rise up against us.

      Liked by 1 person

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